Love, family and visibility in country Australia
Photo supplied: Amy, Hilary, Bowie, Remy and Teddy
For many LGBTQIA+ people, starting a family can be a complicated and deeply personal journey. For one couple in regional New South Wales, it became a story of resilience, perseverance and community. Their experience navigating love, fertility, parenthood and loss is now helping create opportunities for other queer families to follow in their footsteps.
In this episode of LOTL Lounge, the pair share how they built a life together in Mudgee and why they're now fundraising to help another LGBTQIA+ family grow.
Creating Visibility in Regional NSW
Moving from the Blue Mountains back to Mudgee wasn't simply a change of scenery. It was a return to regional life, closer to family support networks and a community where LGBTQIA+ families remain less visible than in Australia's major cities.
While many queer people assume country towns will be less accepting, their experience revealed a more nuanced reality. They found support, connection and a growing sense of belonging while also recognising the importance of being visible and living openly as a queer family.
Being close to extended family became especially important as they began planning for children and navigating the challenges ahead (04:08).
"When people can see queer families living openly and thriving, it creates possibilities for others."
From a Tinder Match to a Shared Future
Their story began with a swipe on Tinder and an immediate connection. Having both experienced previous long-term relationships, they didn't waste time dancing around the big questions.
One of the earliest conversations centred on having children. Both knew it was something they wanted, and being honest about those hopes from the beginning helped shape the foundation of their relationship (02:46).
For queer couples, family planning often requires more intention, preparation and discussion than many people realise. Their experience highlights just how important communication becomes when building a future together (02:46).
Fertility Challenges in Regional Australia
The road to parenthood was anything but straightforward.
While living in the Blue Mountains provided easier access to Sydney fertility services, relocating to Mudgee introduced a new set of challenges. Appointments often meant long drives, overnight stays, telehealth consultations and relying on family support to make treatment possible (07:05).
Over four years, the couple experienced multiple unsuccessful fertility treatments, including IUIs and IVF. Throughout that time, they often felt lost within a system that treated patients as numbers rather than people (08:02).
Everything changed when they found a more personalised approach to fertility care, one that focused not only on procedures but on emotional support and genuine partnership throughout the process (08:02).
Then came an unexpected breakthrough.
After four years of disappointment through formal fertility treatment, home insemination succeeded. With the support of a donor willing to help them on their journey, hope returned and soon they were preparing to welcome their first son, Bowie (06:38).
Their second child, Remy, also arrived through home insemination, further strengthening the family they had long hoped to create.
Later, when health complications made expanding their family more difficult, a supportive fertility clinic helped them continue their journey, ultimately leading to the arrival of their third child (08:45).
Photo supplied: Bowie, Remy and Teddy
Navigating Loss and Finding Hope Again
Their journey wasn't without heartbreak.
The conversation also explores miscarriage, a loss experienced by many families but still discussed far too rarely. They describe the emotional impact of imagining a future with a child, only to have that dream suddenly taken away (10:21).
During this difficult period, family support became critical. Together, they processed grief, supported one another and slowly began to find hope again (10:21).
Just two months after experiencing that loss, they received life-changing news. Teddy was on the way (11:04).
His arrival brought joy, healing and a renewed appreciation for the community that had supported them throughout their journey.
Giving Back to Help Another Family Grow
For many families, the arrival of a child marks the end of a difficult chapter. For this family, it sparked a new mission.
Wanting to give back, they decided that Teddy's milestone celebrations could serve a larger purpose. Instead of gifts, friends and family were invited to contribute towards helping another LGBTQIA+ couple navigate the high costs of fertility treatment (12:07).
The response was overwhelming.
Through donations and participation in the Mudgee Running Festival, the family set out to raise funds while also starting conversations about queer parenthood in regional communities (12:34).
Their efforts have already raised more than $5,000, with donations continuing to arrive (13:44).
More importantly, they've shown that when one family succeeds, they can help create opportunities for others still walking that same path.
““If you’ve found a way through, why not help open the door for someone else?””
There's Room for All of Us
At its heart, this is a story about visibility, community and generosity.
When LGBTQIA+ families live openly, especially in regional Australia, they challenge assumptions and create pathways for others to follow. Their presence reminds young queer people, future parents and local communities that family comes in many forms.
As the conversation draws to a close, the couple laugh about whether three children might eventually become four. For now, however, life is busy, chaotic and full of joy (14:21).
Their story is a reminder that love can grow anywhere. With support, acceptance and community, families can flourish in even the most unexpected places.
And when one family thrives, an entire community benefits (15:24).
Support the Fundraiser
To support Teddy's Honour: Helping Another Family Grow, and help another LGBTQIA+ family achieve their dream of parenthood (15:36).