coming out of the closet Being such a visual person I’ve always pictured the phrase Coming Out accompanied by an over-the-top cha-cha dancer, with a fruit basket on her head and maracas, flinging open some glittered closet doors, like “Here I am society! I am finally making my debut as ME!”

I don’t get the hype over “coming out.” Some, if not most of you may not agree with me, but if making friends was my aim, I wouldn’t write at all. I can see it all unfold in front of me, “Coming out is about not hiding who you are! How can you say that?” “Coming out is liberating! Gay Pride! How dare you, tut tut tut!” etc.

Let me explain before I start dodging all the rotten tomatoes… Who feels the need, when you meet someone, to shake their hand and say, “Hi, I’m Jane and I like vagina?” What about your nationality? “Hi, I’m Bob, but just so you know, I’m Indian.” What about your spiritual beliefs or your religion?

I think there are some things that should just go without saying. It’s almost like when we come out we are forewarning someone. Do we really need to explain ourselves, or prepare them just in case they react or are uncomfortable? No way! We shouldn’t have to be apologetic or sensitive, or act like we are doing people a service by letting them know. Who you sleep with isn’t who you are, it’s just as significant as what you do for a job, or where you come from, but people don’t feel the pressure to make an announcement about that.

It may not come as a shock, but I actually never came out by society’s definition of “coming out.” I didn’t think it was necessary. If someone asked about my relationship status, I said I had a girlfriend, or I was single. Whatever it was at the time. It’s no secret, aliens in space would know I am gay, flaming gay! But that’s not because I attend protests or make sure I prep everyone on my sexual preference.

Am I proud to be gay?  Why? All it is, is who I am attracted to, it doesn’t take me any effort for me to fall in love with a woman, I don’t work for it, it’s just a natural part of me. I am proud of me as a whole, entire person, gay or not. Forget having gay pride alone, just be proud of you, ALL of you.

The sooner we start seeing ourselves as whole people, instead of just focusing on our sexuality as the biggest part of who we are, the sooner being gay, won’t be such a big deal anymore. And who knows, maybe the words gay and lesbian will be phased out all together one day, and we will just be us, loving who we love, (but we’re keeping Mardi Gras, cause gay or not, it’s a hell of a party! ;))