black and white photo of child and adult hand Trying for another baby isn’t just a walk in the park…

After Christmas in 2008, Amber and I started talking about trying again for a baby. We thought it had been long enough since we had lost our baby to Anencephaly and really wanted to get the ball rolling on becoming pregnant again.

We got back in contact with the same sperm donor we had for the last pregnancy and asked if he was wanting to try again. He said he was keen to do it again and to let him know when his services were needed.

We decided we would keep the routine pretty much the same as the last time. He would stay with us for a few days and we would have at least one attempt each day for three days. We said we’d be able to get him to the train station each day for work and whatnot as it was going to be hard for him to have time off.

It worked out that Amber would be ovulating on her birthday weekend. She would be turning 29 and hopefully fulfilling her dream of becoming a mother before turning 30. We had let him know the dates a couple of weeks before and he said everything was fine and he would see us then.

A couple of days before the weekend Amber texted again just to make sure it was all ok and letting him know the exact dates and saying we could pick him up at the train station or at home or whatever he wanted. We didn’t get a reply. We waited until the day that we were meant to be seeing him and then started to worry. We ended up asking if everything’s as ok and ended the day getting a text to say sorry he couldn’t make it this month. We couldn’t believe it! We were upset and annoyed that we would have to wait another month. It was a letdown also for Ambers birthday.

After a couple of days, we were feeling better and started to focus on the next month. Amber was still searching for a job but was not having any luck in securing anything. Amber was feeling down and the only thing keeping her going was the thought of trying for a baby.

We got closer to that ovulating time and worked it out to be on the weekend of my birthday. We laughed that the last two months of ovulating worked out to be on both of our birthdays! I was turning 25 and ready for becoming a mum, we just really wanted this to happen.

Again, the day before he was due to come to our house, our donor cancelled again. We couldn’t believe this was happening again. Amber and I talked about it for a while and we both decided that we couldn’t deal with these emotional blows each month and texted him to let him know we were sorry it didn’t work out and we would no longer be able to have him as our donor. Things turned nasty and he became quite rude and threw a low blow and said  ’how can you raise a baby if you can’t even get a job’ That one really hurt. People were getting let go left right and centre, it was almost impossible for these people to find jobs. That was 2008, my friend.

We were really let down by those horrible words and didn’t know what we were going to do. All we knew was that we needed to find a new donor. But where could we find another donor?