6 women sitting on sofa reading booksMeet the 5 women you’ll encounter when you’re out on the town.

I am standing in a bar, drink in hand, taking in the lesbian crowd in a city I’ve never been to. I am thrilled to be out amongst my people after a brutal conference day, but as I quietly observe the women around me, it occurs to me that you could plunk me down in any city and some of the same women would likely be out. Here are 5 women you’re most likely to meet when you’re out on the town.

1. The player girl.

You know her. She’s the charmer, the life of the party, the one working the room. She is so confident she has no trouble asking for your number. Or the girl across the room. Or the bartender. Or or or. You have to hand it to the players – they make no bones about going after what they want. The player might be for you if you’re out for a fun night of socializing and flirting and can keep a realistic perspective on her desire to commit.

2.The triple threat girl.

The triple threat girl is the lesbian unicorn: smart, hot, and kind. Or some variation of amazing qualities that we all appreciate and look for in friends and girlfriends. She’s likely not the loudest person in the room, but she knows exactly who she is and owns it beautifully. The triple threat might be for you if you are a) single and b) up for the challenge of staying confident in who you are while being open enough to let someone in.

3. The ghosts of girlfriends past girl.

The ghost of their girlfriend’s past girl is the one who probably got talked into going out but isn’t really over her ex. She could be a triple threat girl, but she’s not in a place where she’s ready to date and may not even be aware of it. The ghosts of girlfriend past girl might be for you if you are going through a break-up yourself and looking for friends or if you can stay real with yourself about her emotional availability.

4. The introvert girl.

The introvert girl maybe by herself or in a small group and, in my experience, may have more depth than the bar crowd requires. The introvert may be giving off the vibe we all have at times when we go out, “I don’t really know what I’m doing here.” Don’t underestimate these folks though – they are often the ones you can have long, meaningful conversations with. In a quieter setting, of course. The introvert girl might be for you if you can recognize that not everyone is fed by socializing and you can not take it personally if she’s not enthused to be there.

5. The girl who travels in packs.

The girl who travels in packs is the one who is always in a crowd of 10 women or more. She knows everyone and may be considered the mayor of Lesbianville. She’s good at making people feel welcome and a part of things, and organizes (large) group events frequently. The girl who travels in packs might be for you if you’re looking to meet new people, just got out of a relationship or moved to a new city and are up for an adventure.


Whether you’re out because you’re looking for the one, just want to have a good time, or a little of both, meeting women of all types is a good reminder that we all evolve, and if you’re really lucky, maybe you had a little fun on your journey.