wine glass on christmas decorated tableThis the season to queer the office knees-up

Office Christmas party season is upon us. Do you know what that means? Enough Christmas cookies and Egg Nog to bench Santa and if you’re in a new relationship, two to three weeks of debating whether to invite your new leading lady to the office party debacle.

This year I’m going to give you back those precious weeks of your life and tell you to TAKE that little snowflake to a party!

Here’s why.

1. She can help ward off the creepy advances from that guy in accounting dressed like an elf.

2. Mistletoe.

3. You will have a partner to play “find the secret couple” with.

4. You can sit next to someone at dinner you actually find interesting.

5. You can avoid getting fired by saying something inappropriate after washing away your boredom with wine because you’ll be distracted by your brilliant girl.

6. You’ll have someone who will be honest about just how purple your red wine teeth actually are before that heart-to-heart with your boss.

7. You can wear matching ugly Christmas sweaters.

8. You won’t be the ONLY queer lady at the party. Yay!

9. Bringing her may help rat out the heteronormative asshats in your office that are best avoided.

10. Bringing her may help you realise that your colleagues are actually pretty chill and open-minded.