Stephanie Schroeder's hooked-up blogA friend recently told me she had read the last few entries of this blog: “It’s great that you and [my girlfriend] are still having monkey sex after, what, almost a year and a half?”

One of my girlfriend’s friends, whom she doesn’t see much of but maintains close phone contact, will say every so often, when my name comes up, “So, you guys are still together?”

I’m getting the drift that it’s unusual—or at least perceived as unusual—to have a happy, thriving primary relationship that involves excellent sex, and a lot of it, after a year. Even my therapist says that she’s amazed we’re still having sex and that we don’t argue much at all, even though we are both strapped financially and have been for some time.

My girlfriend and I have talked about this apparent assumption that longer-term relationships cannot work out or that sex automatically dies after some pre-determined period. A gay male friend of my girlfriend’s estimated six months before the sex dies out—my lesbian friends indicate a year or so.

This saddens me—to think that the expected lifespan of a lesbian relationship’s sexual energy and attention is less than one year. The looming spectre of Lesbian Bed Death, about which much has been written, is, I think, a real problem. LBD is a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you believe sex between you and your partner will slow, halt and then die altogether, it certainly will. Conversely, if you believe you will be having sex (with or without the same—or any—partner) until the day you die, well, then you most certainly will.

This assumption, the common presumption that two women together cannot keep sex alive, is nonsense. The idea of sitting on the couch in front of the old cathode tube, holding hands and just cuddling for eternity is not what I consider a healthy relationship. Or an enticing one, either. I’m all for cuddling, don’t get me wrong, but I want to get pounded and drilled regularly. And, thankfully, so does my girlfriend.

So, yes, my friends, we are having monkey sex and plan to for a long time. I suggest you grab your gal (or your vibrator) and do the same.