The author and expert cruiser report from Olivia’s Western Caribbean cruise.

It’s funny.  No matter what the trip or where we go, we always have one day that we reserve for doing absolutely nothing. Today was that day.

We did the morning trivia — which we won! We had breakfast on the Lido deck, instead of in bed. And we went to the gym. After that, we did nothing.

We sat on the deck poolside, despite the dreary weather. We read and napped and genuinely enjoyed having nothing to do and nowhere to be.

Around 5:00 pm, we made our way back to the cabin to get ready for the show. We wanted to get to the theatre early in order to score a good seat, because tonight, Julie Goldman headlined.

We’ve seen her perform before and she is hilarious. The kind of hilarious that makes you spit Coke out of your nose and slap the person next to you to make sure that she got the joke too.

She’s a busy girl these days, writing for Joan Rivers for her Fashion Police show, writing and performing on In Your Box Office and guest starring on shows like Bones.

Gina Yashere opened for Julie and, once again, had us laughing so much that it made it hard to take a breath between jokes. Then Julie took the stage and breathing truly was no longer an option.

She did her signature lunges and joked about going to a wedding where the guests stayed in tents and went to workshops that involved looking at one’s own private bits.

Tonight she did some particularly funny bits about her Jewish mother and even ended with a song she wrote, funny of course. But, go figure, she can really sing and play the guitar.

After the show, we had dinner with some new friends, which was really nice since we had dined alone all of the previous nights. We grabbed a big table with some girls we met this week, who were from Ithaca, New York. I had forgotten how much fun it was to be at a big, rowdy table, with new friends.

We stayed at dinner so long that the Dessert Extravaganza was already laid out on the Lido deck by the time we left. It was a mind-blowing display of ice sculptures, a castle made of chocolate; teeny marzipan fruits; chocolate dipped apples; white chocolate and milk chocolate fountains; and every variety of bread and cakes and fruit.

I took lots of photos and my girlfriend indulged in white chocolate dipped apple. I was still too stuffed from dinner to indulge. But I’m already wishing I had taken a to-go plate.

Then it was time to head to Club O for some dancing. DJ Pat Pat, who we love, was spinning tonight and the place was packed. We were having a really good time but had to cut the night a little short.

The ship docks in Costa Maya at 7:00 am and we have to meet at the end of the dock at 7:20 am for our big zipline adventure. So, we had to be good girls and get ourselves to bed. So, until tomorrow…