Nilo Sinclair
Nilo Sinclair

Churning through hardships to become an accomplished LGBT role model.

I recently had the pleasure of coming into contact with someone who I can tell is and will become more influential on the LGBT scene.

This person has a lot to say and has the power to touch many people in a good, uplifting way. I’d like to share with you: Nilo Sinclair.

All my life I have struggled without any helping hand to soothe me.

Beaten, sexually abused, bullied, betrayed and used…

I know the feeling of being abandoned all too well, and neglect goes hand in hand with that. I have always considered myself to be incredibly strong despite all the traumatic things I have gone through. I am here today to disclose some of my experiences that although at one point broke me down, have now lifted me up in such a way that words cannot describe.

I am sharing such things because I know my words can help someone else. So without any further hesitation, my name is Nilo, and I am a survivor – just as YOU are.

Even though it troubles me deeply to believe this, people will always hurt you, I know this to be true. Whether it’s your mother, father, friend or partner, people will always disappoint you and will always surprise you by their hurtful words or actions. I do not mean to come off as a pessimist by any means, but it is what it is. As a child, I naively believed that no blood relative of mine or friend would ever hurt me, and boy was I wrong! As I started to grow up, the more I suffered and the less of a person I felt I was.

I felt my existence was not pointless, but just tolerable, and by who, I don’t know. “Will I ever stop suffering?”, was a question I asked myself every single day. My entire childhood, I was physically and verbally abused by someone who I always considered to be my number one role model. Why or how could someone so close and so important to me do such a thing? Why would you ever want to embed fear into a child, let alone your very own?

As an adult, I have come to a conclusion. Some cannot comprehend, some find it interesting. But I THANK my abuser. No really, I do.

If it wasn’t for the abuse I would have never achieved what I have so far, as I continue to better myself. I decided to learn self-defence and in turn, become an excellent boxer and MMA fighter. The physical abuse motivated me to become as strong and big as possible. Because of this mentality, I became a state record-holding powerlifter!

If it wasn’t for the verbal abuse I would never have learnt the proper and correct way to not only speak to people but how to politely speak to a woman. It taught me how to never speak to my significant other, my daughter, or anyone for that matter. It taught me how to properly respect others with grace. Because of my experiences, I developed a voice and a loud one that now everyone hears.

From being challenged time and time again, I have found the greatest gift of all; my masculine soul which has moulded me into a gentleman. I have found my dominance and aggression and as a result of it, I am a protector. Given the right frame of mind, with every trauma comes a positive ending. You can always create something good out of something bad.

I am forever strong and will always defend what is right. There will never be a justifiable excuse for any form of abuse, but, you can always pull out of any situation and heal positively. What doesn’t kill you can only make you stronger. Remember that.

Nilo Sinclair