Queerie Bradshaw

Let’s get down to it.

Inspired by a cute French Bistro in the Hayes Valley district of San Francisco, I put an ad on Craigslist to see if anyone felt like going on a date with me. A few people responded, but all of them trailed off as email responses from Craigslist tend to do.

For good measure, at the same time, I posted an ad looking for just plain sex. This ad got many more responses, including an unsightly photo of some guy’s penis that promised to cure me of my homosexual sin.

Luckily, along with the penis shot, I also got pictures of a tall blonde femme accompanied by a friendly yet blunt email explaining that she went to school in a small conservative town in Scotland and it had been a while since she had sex. She wasn’t looking for anything serious, just some sexual tension release, which was perfectly fine with me.

It took a few weeks before our schedules matched but eventually, we made plans for her to drive to San Francisco to meet me. The day before our meeting, she sent another blunt email double-checking that sex was on the agenda and that this was going to be worth her drive up from the South Bay.

I liked this girl’s style.

Explaining that sex is almost always on my agenda, I assured her that this wouldn’t be yet another stale date and we agreed to dinner, a movie and sex.

Meeting at my place (which my roommate and I spent all day cleaning), we took the subway downtown and chatted about life in Scotland at a prestigious university. I was disappointed she didn’t actually have a Scottish accent but she made up for it with her stories of royalty and Burberry galoshes.

We saw Toy Story 3 in 3D and we both promised not to hold it against the other if we cried at the end, which we both did. Grabbing some Italian food in the Castro district, we chatted about the blog and she again emphasized the lack of sex options at her school.

The next morning, I had to get up to volunteer at the AIDS Walk, so we headed back to my apartment on the fairly early side. We grabbed some vegan gelato on our way back and ate in on my freshly laundered sheets in my surprisingly clean room.

After small talk that lasted too long considering we both knew we were there for sex, I pulled her to me and kissed her. It took about 13.5 seconds for all of her clothes to come off.

She was a cute gal with clothes on but looked even better naked. Supple large breasts perkily sprung out from a tight yet soft stomach. I ran my hands over her body, sucking on her nipples and loving their texture between my teeth.

She greedily kissed me and didn’t seem bothered by the fact that I skipped foreplay and went right inside of her.

About an hour into sex, she apologized for being such a bottom and attempted to get up to please me. I reassured her that I was having a fabulous time being a strict top and tonight was all about taking away eight months of her pent up sexual energy.

Hours later, both of us spent, she thanked me for a great evening and we said a very brief goodbye before was on her way.

I emailed her the next day to make sure she made it home safely. She replied, thanking me again for a wonderful evening and said she would contact me if she was back in the city anytime soon.

I never heard from her again.

As I said, I liked this girl’s style.