Does your new partner need to know you are in therapy?

Dear Carol,

I have been going to therapy for several months to help me think through my issues from the past. Just recently I have met someone and we have begun seeing each other. On a couple of occasions, they have wanted to get together when I have my weekly session. I have said I am busy and given another option not explaining why or where I was going. Is it necessary to discuss with someone new that I am in therapy?

Sincerely,

Private

Dear Private,

I understand being in therapy and why you are in therapy is something personal that you would not just want to share with anyone. First and foremost if it is that you are under the impression that seeing a therapist means there is something wrong with you, I want you to know that being in therapy is very normal and healthy and most people at some point in their life do see a therapist to share their innermost feelings with.

A therapist sometimes just allows people to say things they are feeling out loud and voice their innermost thoughts without any judgment. If the reason you are in therapy is what you are not comfortable sharing with this new person in your life perhaps you need to realize that person may not be the right one for you.

It is not necessary to discuss this on the first or second date but somewhere down the line, you should be comfortable sharing this with her if this is someone you want to have a relationship with. A relationship needs to be built on honesty and trust and if you feel you cannot trust this person enough to share this with them they are obviously not the right person for you. Be proud you are seeing a therapist; this is a healthy avenue for anyone.