I switched Churches at 16 because a friend told me that a pretty girl played the drums for their new worship band.

I was simultaneously boosting my Church attendance to satisfy a moral conscious and getting some eye candy while we were supposed to be closing our eyes to pray. I have, thankfully, developed a deeper understanding of love in the spirituality framework and my journey as a gay woman since this point.

Love is patient. What did that mean in the context of a lesbian being unwillingly dragged out of the closet because of the rumours spreading like crazy around the small inner-city Church?

Having to be patient and having to accept the patience of others is at the core of the spiritual community. Love is often kind, but ‘Love’ can occasionally feel like a sharp whack with a blunt axe to the shin.

So, the notion of patience for our community is learning that not everyone holding a bible in one hand contains a stone in the other.

As much as I was given opportunities to learn patience, it was also extended to me in ways I could have never imagined, as is the experience of many of us who and ourselves in the beautiful and wretched position of possessing an often forbidden way of loving. Patience from others is realised when people refuse to follow their peers to learn from our experience, even though they might not quite understand.

Patience was handed to me when I spotted that pretty drummer girl at a  queer night, and she shared her own story with me about her journey coming out as a gay woman in an often hostile environment. Love is Patient.