horoscopeWhat intoxications await us this August?

Steamy Venus enters earthy Virgo and sets off a range of six wayward retrograde planets Mercury, Neptune, Mars, Saturn, Pluto and Jupiter. Whew! Will we get into trouble or will trouble get into us? Lets. Just. See.

Leo (July 24-Aug 23)

Lionesses not only feel especially generous now, they also seem to have a sixth sense about investing and making more money. Focus on the bottom line. Will you spend it as fast as you make it? If so, be sure that you get your money’s worth- whether with wine, women or song. Spread it around and use it to grease the wheels or wherever needs the lubrication.

Virgo (Aug 24-Sept 23)

Virgos find themselves in the center of all of the action this August. Your steamy presence is demanded in every dyke bar all over town. Good! Don’t let office politics get in the way of your social climbing and long term plans. Cultivate the influencers and ignore the gossip from any jealous Janes. You have the opportunity and capability to be a leader of the pride parade.

Libra (Sept 24-Oct 23).

All of the secret intrigue that has been swirling behind the scenes for the past few weeks will soon make sense to you, Libra. You will be very pleased about what will be revealed but don’t let any juicy morsel lie wherever it falls. Use any glean of knowledge to create a glorious shine.  Plan your eventual world domination one step at a time. Start walking.

Scorpio (Oct 24-Nov 22)

Gal pals and even family members seem to gravitate to your door. Knock knock. Are you home, Scorpio? The temptation will be to let anyone in but try to be discerning. There are those who add to an event and others who may drag you down. Of course it all depends upon where they wind up dragging you… you never know how lurid those depths can get.

Sagittarius (Nov 23-Dec 22)

Sagittarians always seem to find something profound and witty to say no matter how relevant it is to the conversation. Now your gift of gab gets you into the top echelons of any group or organization. Share some of your opinions and see if you can charm the corporate sharks and climb the ladder of success. Then, when you get to the top, you can find a few lovely helping hands to work under you. Ahhh!

Capricorn (Dec 23-Jan 20).

This is the time to get out of your rut and explore new places and faces. And don’t pinch pennies on your journey, Capricorn. The world beckons and offers you wonders and excitement. If your time is tight, find exciting venues closer to home. The most important thing is to relax and check out some luxurious hot spots wearing your g-string to find hotties’ g-spots.

Aquarius (Jan 21-Feb 19)

As sexy as you may feel now, no one will know it unless you show and tell them. So say it loud and proud, Aqueerius – You are ready for action! Find a choice of possibilities by venturing out of your comfort zone and into new social circles. Before you know it, you will be on everyone’s spicy tasting menu. Are you an early bird special, a top tier or smorgasbord?

Pisces (Feb 20-March 20).

Relationships take on an intoxicating lift especially when you add a dash of delicious mystery. Why not leave her little love notes throughout the house? Or lure her into a sexy web of intrigue? For those Pisces who are fishing in new waters, try some new bait and dip your line. You never know who you will catch. Will she be a rainbow trout or another guppie?

Aries (March 21-April 20)

Romance bubbles to the top of your agenda, Aries, so allow the frothiness to wash over you and carry you to every party you can possibly attend. Go beyond your usual gaggle of girlfriends. They may not fully appreciate your frenetic social craziness now. There are more lovely ladies waiting for you in the wings. Let your heart take flight but prepare for a landing by end of the summer.

Taurus (April 21-May 21

If you are feeling particularly creative, go with the flow and see how your inspiration can activate your long terms plans for success. Keep your eye on the ultimate prize, Taurus – fame, fortune, power and status. You may be happily surprised to discover that there are some powerful ladies who are also keeping their eye on you. Will you both see eye to eye? Or whatever?

Gemini (May 22-June 21)

Geminis may feel that their home needs a bit of sprucing and juicing up now. If your surroundings are drab and humdrum, find clever and cheap ways to make it sing. Focus on local projects. Travel will be a bit of a bother now, anyway. Plans can change quickly and everything beyond your own front door could be too much bother. Get hot and bothered at home. Heh, heh.

Cancer (June 22-July 23

Cancers have golden tongues and seem to know just what to say to get into any gals heads … And other parts. Your schmooziness coupled with your innate charisma knows no bounds. Whoo hoo! Take it to the Outer limits and don’t let this moment pass you by. But also know when you have bitten off more than you can chew. More than a mouthful is wasted.