Putting on my jeans and t-shirt for the day, I look into the mirror and look back at myself. I am nowhere near the size I used to be back in High School, to be honest. I’ve put on a few kilos, but somehow, I’m still happy with who stares back at me each morning.
Back in High School, I remember wearing a size 14. I remember thinking how awfully embarrassing it would be if someone were to find out I wore THAT size! What a tragedy it would be! Everyone else was about a 12 or a 10 and I couldn’t bear to be so “fat”. I got teased every now and then about my size, which of course made matters worse. I went on diets and at times, I restricted my eating. This of course made me eat more and then make me hate myself all over again. I lost weight and put it on again, then lost it again. It was a cycle that I was constantly in and I wasn’t ever truly happy with how I looked, no matter what.
The years went by, I started working and moving and dating. I fell in love and got into that ‘comfortable’ stage. You know when you’re single, then you try to be as skinny as possible, then as soon as you find a match and love someone, you get comfortable and put on weight?... Or is that just me? No, I’m sure I’ve seen other couples do it! Anyway, this is what happened to me. We ate like Queens and didn’t give a damn about it! Just picture old-school royalty getting fed grapes, but replace the grapes with slices of pizza or chocolate. Next, add in a pinch of stress and a tablespoon of time and then, ta-dah! You’re left with me being an overweight female thinking “Damn, I wish I was still that size 14 like I was back in High School”.
I had finally lost a little bit of weight over a couple of years or so, but something still wasn’t quite right with how I was going about losing it. There was a vital piece missing. Sure, I’d lost a kilo in a week and I still had a little “yay” moment whilst standing on the scales, but it didn’t “excite” me. The missing piece was love for me, myself and I. If I didn’t love me for who I was, at whatever size, how the hell am I going to find the motivation to look after my body to lose weight? If I didn’t love my body if it was bigger, why would I suddenly love it when it was smaller? I started to stumble upon feeds on Instagram and Facebook of curvy women who were inspiring many to love their bodies just the way they were.
My point is, why is our society forcing upon women that being skinny is how you become sexy? Sure, there are some great looking women who are a size 10 or 8, but I’ve also seen some beautiful women who are a size 18, 20 and 22! Just take a look at Tess Munster (go and google image her if you don’t know her). She is just one example of a woman who is clearly comfortable in her own skin, is confident and of course, gorgeous. Throwing in some other names here such as Kate Upton, Beth Ditto, Rebel Wilson… All amazing!
In being more comfortable in my own skin, it then made me want to become healthier and to look after myself. I’m not saying I’m perfect (because dammit, I do love chocolate cake), but I have been trying to eat better for my own health. Women should feel happy with who they are and believe the fact that they are beautiful no matter what size or shape. You don’t need that botox to be attractive! You don’t need surgery to feel good about yourself (but if that’s what you want to do, then go for it!). Look into the mirror, take a look, and feel the love. Love who you are. Love your body. It’s not going to happen overnight, but just try! There are days where I hate my hair, hate my thighs, hate that wobbly arm skin near my arm pits… But that’s natural. Nobody is perfect. At the end of the day, if you’re a good person (and I am sure you are!), then who cares about skin deep beauty? You’re amazing inside and out, don’t ever let anyone make you feel otherwise.