Two not so distant lovers
Speaking on love and lust.
It seems to be easy for society to equate lust as an emotion that has nothing to do with love. But as I forage through Wikipedia and Webster’s Dictionary for a proper definition of the term, no where do I find one line that says that lust and love cannot go hand in hand.
When I find myself within the throws of an insatiable hunger I do not stop to figure out if what I am feeling is valid. For me, the urge that takes over my body is all too real and so in that respect what I am feeling is valid. One of the definitions of lust is that it is a passionate or overmastering desire or craving. This definition brings to mind an encounter I had some time ago:
Before I officially met her I wanted her. No, correction, my being wanted her and that want went past a simple one night stand. I wanted to rest my naked flesh against her mind. I wanted to drink her fears and console her heart. Of course I also wanted to bury myself deep within her in a number of ways, but ultimately I wanted her and the thoughts of her that plagued my mind would not let me rest. Fast forward many years laters and although we are not involved in an intimate relationship, she knows me like no other and until this day holds a place in my heart. I had an insatiable desire for this woman that was unrelenting but I also loved her in a way that others would dismiss as only lust, which in their minds had nothing to do with love.
The truth of the matter is that even when we are up in years and dawning grey strands of hair, we want to be wanted. We want to feel drunken butterflies in our stomach when our partner passes our way and we want them to want us as much as they need air to breathe. There is this unwarranted misconception that we become so comfortable with a person that we care little if we have mind-blowing sex or passion in the relationship. Do me a favour - if you don’t care if your mate wants you and have no need for passion in your relationship please stand up. Hmmm...I don’t see any takers.
When you enter a relationship, you don’t think about one day getting so caught up in life’s trials and tribulations that you don’t care if your lover is passionate for you or not. Furthermore every woman enjoys the feeling of being craved…to a point. There is always a part of lust that could turn obsessive and reap irrevocable harm. In this case we must be mindful but for the purpose of this discussion we aren’t talking about the types of emotions that can get you thrown in jail.
So why does lust get such a bad reputation if it is on the list of other divine emotions? Those who lust and regret it went in with false expectations to begin with. Your emotions are just that - yours. You love and lust without permission and as such should not allow these feelings to be dependent on another. You should never expect someone to feel a certain way simply because you do.
There is someone in my life that has been beat and broken by love. Because of this she does not love easily. This does not stop me from loving her. All that I ask is that I am allowed to express what I feel without restraint. And at the same time I do not expect her to return the sentiment nor do I make excuses for what I feel.
Within lust, an as well with love, there is a freedom unlike any other. When you send away the guards that protect your heart and allow your emotions to live as intended, you come away with a feeling similar to being rebirthed. Lust is not wrong and is not always a prelude to a good night of sex that leads to nothing more. Lust is passionate, wild, uncontrollable, and makes no excuses for its existence. Mix this with true and unadulterated love and you have a union sought after by all of wo-mankind.
Take your partner in your arms and look at her. Search her eyes for that look she gave you when you first met. Hold her in silence and remember how her scent drove your senses mad and her smile melted your insides. Allow yourself to fall utterly and madly in love with her within that moment. Tell her you crave her. Tell her that she is all you need in order to exist. In that moment forget proper etiquette and societal protocols. In that moment allow yourself to lust after her and your heart to love her. And when you connect revel in the love that you are making while allowing lust to guide your hand.
Lust is not our enemy, the fear of loving and not being loved back is what binds us.