Bisexual Bias – Why Can’t We Just Get Along?
It’s time to say bye-bye to biphobia.
Credit: Allef Vinicius
Once upon a time, you were considered Gay or Straight, and anything in between was unacceptable.
I can't tell you the amount of times I've heard the word "Bisexual" spat between lesbians who have inexplicably decided that there's something wrong with this label. Which is strange, isn't it? Aren't we as the LGBT community meant to be accepting? Who gets to decide what you call yourself? Shouldn't your sexuality be as individual as you are?
I am Bisexual (damn right that's a capital B) and although I went with "I'm a lesbian" for a while, it had to stop, because that just wasn't true either. But I have found that the exclusive UK lesbian community tend to furrow their perfectly-shaped eyebrows at me when I tell them I'm Bisexual. How very dare I encroach on their territory? No I can't sit at their table! That seat is reserved for real lesbians. Why can't I just pick a side?
Well I have picked. And in fact, it's not a side. I pick Me. Bisexuality is valid. It's not what I'm calling myself as I'm transitioning, it's not what people are labelled while they're deciding. It's a whole other category! Entering the very community you've been dying to belong to and having them reject you is enough to send a person straight back into the closet! Not a healthy turn of events for the LGBT movement. Damnit, we've been fighting hard enough within the widespread community for our right for equality, why all this friendly fire? Shouldn't gay women, above everyone, understand the degrading nature of having to hide your true sexuality? Isn't that obvious?
It's actually a much bigger issue than just inter-queer bullying. Bi-Hate is slowing down the LGBT movement from within. Because if I wasn't as stubborn and bloody-minded as I am, I would never have come out. The snarky disapproval of my bi-ways would have been too much to deal with, and I would have stayed put firmly in that closet, leaving the LGBT community one fighter down. I'd have remained a civilian if I knew how nasty bi-hate would be! And I can only imagine how many people share that fear.
Which is why we're remaining a minority: We are literally not letting people in. Doesn't that strike you as a bit backwards? We need all the army we can get if we're going to finish this fight for equality worldwide! Bi-hating lesbians need to appreciate that, actually, discriminating against bisexuals is as damaging to the cause as being actively homophobic. You're stopping people from being who they are. Stop it!
This goes further than your club, your table of Gold Star lesbians and your belief that you have to be one way or the other. We have such a long way to go and we should all be active in continuing to fight the LGBT cause worldwide. Just because you can sit and snog your girlfriend in public now doesn't mean the fight is over. We need to be taking this international! Not stopping the fight now that our pocket of society can live openly. Don't stand down just because your battle is won. We're fighting a war here... Arm yourselves!
For the women in India being killed for their homosexuality. For the men in Christian communities being sent to "Straight Camps" throughout the USA. We aren't done here! In fact, we've barely begun. My Bisexuality is not what you need to be glaring at right now.
Bi-Hate is a poisonous trend, and one that needs to be stamped out, immediately. Put down the prejudice. Get it together and get together, bi's and lesbians alike! Slowly but surely, the phrase "Pride" is beginning to mean exactly what it should mean... Pride in oneself and one’s sexuality. Precisely. As. It. Is.
So let's leave the judgemental glares to the un-informed, shall we? And not within the very community that's supposed to embrace the acceptance of gay-ness, to whatever degree an individual celebrates it.
The important thing is, it's being celebrated. Let's do it together. Next stop: International acceptance.
But About the Author - E J Rosetta is an LGBT Columnist and coffee addict living in Hampshire with her spoiled cat, Hendricks. More ramblings can be found at www.facebook.com/ejrosettaLGBT or via Twitter - @EJRosetta