Lea Delaria Splits with Fiancee, Gaby Dunn Scores Development Deal, and Melissa Etheridge Smokes Weed
The fall of the American Empire may be hurtling into full force, but celesbians (celesbibis, celesbipans, celebsiqueers, you know what I mean) are killing it and that is all that matters.
Lea Delaria and fiancee Chelsea Fairless broke up and announced it on Lea’s Instagram, days after their wedding was scheduled to occur
Apparently this was an eerily prophetic choice of engagement photo as our relationship has since gone the way of David and Liza, with one small exception: our split is amicable. Please exclude us from the tragic and basic celebrity breakup narrative. We were happy together for four years and will remain in each other's lives. In fact, we look forward to finding new ways to torture each other. We would like to thank our incredible friends and families for their love and support ❤ xoxo Lea & @female_trouble
“Apparently this was an eerily prophetic choice of engagement photo as our relationship has since gone the way of David and Liza, with one small exception: our split is amicable. Please exclude us from the tragic and basic celebrity breakup narrative. We were happy together for four years and will remain in each other's lives. In fact, we look forward to finding new ways to torture each other. We would like to thank our incredible friends and families for their love and support”.
Excuse me for a moment, I have to perish from boredom. That’s better. Can I be real? I detest amicable celebrity splits. If the public puts in the time and energy to fawn over two famous people’s saccharine love story, we deserve to rubber neck when it goes the way of the Hindenburg.
There are only two real reasons people break up.
- One or both of them does something unforgivable
- )The Cool Ranch Dorito Paradox trademark pending)
What is the Cool Ranch Dorito paradigm? Allow me to explain. When I was in 5th grade, I ate a small bag of Cool Ranch Doritos every day during lunch. I loved them. Then, one day, I opened my bag of Cool Ranch Doritos and felt an overwhelming sense of nausea. Suddenly, the thought of touching or eating one more Dorito disgusted me. I dropped the bag, never to savor Cool Ranch again. This can be applied to people. At a certain point in some relationships, you look to your partner and think, “If I have to touch this beautiful, beloved soul one more time I will vomit.”
So, while Lea and Chelsea may claim to have an absolutely amicable split, and I have zero intel or proof to verify my suspicions, in this breakup I catch the undeniable whiff of Cool Ranch Dorito.
Lauren Jauregui wrote a sweet birthday message to Lucy Vives
Second year in a row I get to celebrate next to yo ass(: HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY MY LOVE!! @lucyvives we had so much fun yesterday I didn't get a chance to post anything🙈that's when you know a 21st went well. Thank you for being alive and continuing to stand by my side. No matter what this crazy world ever hands us I know that in each other we'll always find a safe place. Thank you for the countless hours of advice and mind probing conversation and love and sanity. You are such a beautiful light in this world and I'm so grateful to have you close. May the universe continue to bless you and guide you into sharing that light with everyone you meet❤️ thank you for the laughs and the tears and the growth and the unconditional. You're my favorite forever☺️ happy birthdayyy❤️ ❤️ 📷: @wildflyme_
Why does this matter? Because Lucy Vives is the girl Lauren was photographed kissing last year, leading to mad rumors and finally Lauren coming out as bisexual. Are they dating? Are they banging? Are they, as the mainstream so originally put it, “PALS?” No idea but they are both extremely attractive so seems like a solid match.
Brooke Candy starred in a “fashion film” called Candy Crush
Out Magazine debuted the film online this week, saying “The Last Impresario Director Gracie Otto has joined forces with Australian photographer Thom Kerr to create a surreal short fashion film, Candy Crush, featuring "Opulence" pop performer Brooke Candy. The visual, shot at San Luis Obispo's Madonna Inn, follows the story of a hotel employee wistfully musing about a young star (played by Brooke) before her rise to fame.”
It’s like if Bubba Sparks took a swig of codeine and directed a highly stylized webisode of American Horror Story: Hotel. Into it. Also if you don’t know about Brooke Candy, she’s a badass.
Melissa Etheridge opens up about smoking pot
Billboard asked artists to talked about their use of marijuana. Here’s what Melissa Etheridge had to say:
“The part of cannabis that everyone is kind of afraid to talk about is the euphoric part, the part that’s consciousness-raising. It started in the ’60s. Then they quickly closed it down and made it Schedule I and we’re not even going to look at it. I find that part of cannabis -- the opening of the mind -- leads to incredible creativity. I think some of our great creative thinkers in the past were cannabis users -- they just didn’t talk about it. They’ve even traced it back to Shakespeare.”
Another reason to like Melissa.
Lily Tomlin will receive the 2016 SAG lifetime achievement award
Her 9-5 costars Jane Fonda and Dolly Parton will present Lily with the award on January 29th.
Gaby Dunn struck a development deal with YouTube
Together with “Just Between Us” creative partner Allison Raskin, Gaby Dunn scored a development deal for a new show with YouTube Creators Intensive. According to The Hollywood Reporter, “Raskin and Dunn together wrote Everyone's a Liar, a case-of-the-week series about a duo who start a private agency to investigate the morality of friends, business partners and significant others.” If Everyone’s a Liar is greenlit, the show will debut on YouTube Red. 2017 is shaping up to be Gaby Dunn’s biggest year yet. Her debut novel (also a collaboration with Allison Raskin) I Hate Everyone But You is a #1 Best Seller on Amazon... And it doesn’t even come out until September.
ANTM Contestants Kyle and Marissa kissed
Kyle, an America’s Next Top Model Contestant who identifies as a queer, intersectional feminist, shared a kiss with fellow contestant Marissa on Monday’s episode. Then they talked about their feelings. Eh.
Sarah Paulson sniffed Cher’s hair
Sarah went on the Late Show with Stephen Colbert and talked about sniffing Cher’s hair. According to XPose.ie:
"I smelt Cher. I smelt the back of Cher's head," Sarah recalled on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on Monday (16Jan17). "She might be (finding out about this right now). "Because I really love Cher; I think a lot of people love her for her music which I do, but I think she's one of the great actresses, I really do. So I was in her presence and I really wanted to go up to her but I was too nervous, so instead I went to the back of her and sort of pushed my nose between her hairs, parted it, and just hung out there for the count of, 'One-one thousand, two-one thousand'. She was about to turn around so I jumped and went back."
Ruby Rose accused Nina Dobrev of stalking
While they were filming XXX: Motorcycles Can Surf Now, Ruby Rose passed the time by pranking her costars. The Daily Mail Reports:
“She covered my entire trailer with 200 plus headshots of herself on every single surface; it was on the microwave, on the couches, on the floor, on the ceilings - everywhere. So then when I showed up to set and walked into my trailer, she walked in a few seconds later and then accused me of being obsessed with her.”
That is some dedicated mischief. Also: why did Ruby Rose have 200 headshots of herself?
Evan Rachel Wood got a new tattoo kind of
MORE NEWS FROM INSTAGRAM America is falling. She explained in the caption “10 years ago I got a lightning bolt in a Valentine to honor David Bowie. After he died I filled it in black ⚡ miss you starman.”
Amanda Peet explained that Sarah Paulson kiss
There was some social media backlash after Sarah and Amanda shared a kiss on the Golden Globes Red Carpet. People accused Sarah of disrespecting Holland Taylor and Amanda of using Sarah for exposure. Sarah fired back on Twitter, replying “I have more respect for Holland than anyone could ever know. Except she knows.” She called the negative reaction “egregious misrepresentation” and, while there was still some criticism, the overwhelming majority of Sarah’s followers supported her kiss as a platonic act of friendship.
Which makes Amanda Peet’s explanation all the more interesting. When People asked Amanda about her relationship with Sarah at the Elle Women in Television event on Saturday, Amanda described it as “complicated” but special. “It’s very intense and visceral and really beautiful and we work hard at it.” When asked about the kiss, Amanda replied, “There was no thought process. That is often the case with my relationship with Sarah... [Paulson’s] a little bit like my other husband or wife. She’s like my wife.”
Lesbian YouTubers fight back at haters
I am a woman. I am a woman who has always wanted a child. I am a woman who likes to dress how she pleases and doesn't give two shits about your stereotypes. Who cares if I like to wear snap backs and joggers? Who cares that I'm not the "normal" look of a pregnant woman. I am Domonic's mom and I am proud! There's a lot of hate going around with me being a "pregnant stud" which is soooo funny to me. Like you people cry all day "don't judge" or "I hate when people judge" but are the MAIN ONES. I went to a sperm bank to conceive Domonic, and I am so blessed to be able to bring him into this world! He will have the best life. One thing I will teach Domonic is to always be himself and to stand up for himself! So Domonic, mommy is sorry that you have to be born in a world full of hate, but just know that I will do my best to protect you. I love you Domonic Cristopher Wilson. You make me a better person 👶🏽❤️🙏🏽 @thedomonicwilson
Popular lesbian YouTube couple Domonique and Crissy are expecting a baby and not taking any shit. Domonique is butch/stud. Crissy is femme. Domo is the one carrying their child. Apparently, this was too complicated for some internet commenters, who showered the couple with criticism, saying “the wrong one” got pregnant. In true Youtuber fashion, Domo fired back on YouTube and Instagram
Good for them. To me, the real story is that Domo and Crissy have already created an Instagram account for their unborn child. It has many, many more followers than I do. I don’t know how I feel about fetal social media. Actually, I do: weird.
The gay agenda is working, there are more of us than ever
More Americans identify as LGBTQ than ever before.
Rachel Maddow is revamping her show to take on Trump
German Lesbian Filmmaker Monika Treut is getting a Teddy Award
Treut is known for groundbreaking dramas (Virgin Machine, 1988; My Father Is Coming, 1991) and documentaries (Gendernauts: A Journey Through Shifting Identities, 1999; Tigerwomen Grow Wings, 2005). The Teddy is the oldest award for Queer cinema.
Straight women explain why they like watching lesbian porn and I still don’t care
When straight people talk about gayness in any context that thing from the Peanuts happens when their parents are talking and it’s just like “womp meh won eh.”
Ellen Degeneres allegedly stiffed a waitress on the tip
It’s not like she can’t afford it.
Caitlin Stasey has mice
Intentionally. She shared videos of her three pet mice: Fauna, Flora, and Merryweather. Pretty cute.