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Bella Thorne and Tana Mongeau Make Out, Thirst Trap, Plan Threesome, Get Dissed

Plus Ellen and Emma step out for 'Flatliners' premiere.


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Ellen Page And Emma Portner Canoodle At Flatliners Premiere

 

Ellen Page and Emma Portner have progressed from hipster celesbian couple to mainstream It Couple. Dancer Emma Portner accompanied her famous girlfriend to the premiere of Ellen’s new (alas, critically panned) film Flatliners, and their #couplegoals PDA is getting more attention than the actual film. Refinery29, my favorite straight girl site, dubbed Ellen and Emma “The New It Couple” in a exultant article that could have been published on any gay site.

 

Entertainment Tonight caught Ellen and Emma walking and posing, hand in hand, on the Flatliners red carpet and asked Ellen about Emma. Ellen gushed that having Emma’s support “... is the best.” Like every other obsessed lesbian, Ellen often posts videos of her girlfriend on Instagram with ecstatic captions about Emma’s awesomeness. Celesbian It Couples: They’re just as obnoxiously in love as regular lesbian couples. Only better looking. And richer. And better dressed. And yeah, moving on. 

 

Bella Thorne and Tana Mongeau Make Out, But Is It For The Male Gaze?

 

mineeee

A post shared by tanamongeau (@tanamongeau) on

 

Bella Thorne, of sculpted cherry lips and thirst trip excellence, made out with a YouTuber she once competed with for Scott Disick’s affections. Intellectually, I am repulsed. Physically, Bella Thorne continues to turn me on for all the wrong reasons. Do I want to kiss her or get her plastic surgeon’s number? A little of both.

 

Let me unpack this hot mess for you. Tana Mongeau posted the above picture on Instagram with the caption “mine.” Bella reposted the pictures on Twitter with the caption “Who’s shook?” and Tana replied “me cause I miss you baby.” This sparked rumors that the two were dating, which Bella and Tana encouraged by continuing to post photos together and converse on social media. Adorable, right? Eh. Well, Tana seems to have attracted Bella’s attention by creating a YouTube video on June 30th called “I tried to fuck Scott Disick, now Bella Thorne hates me,” in which she tells the story of trying to catch Scott’s eye at some hellish party (I couldn’t bring myself to watch it, sorry), only to be thwarted by Bella Thorne sensually dancing for Scott Disick. Bella went on to briefly date the Kourtney Kardashian discard known for substance abuse and infidelity. This all went down in June/July 2017. Fast forward to last week, when Bella and Tana literally kissed and made up. This would be a cute story of two girls who ditched the guy to get with each other... Only it kind of seems like they’re using their combined sex appeal to attract guys. A rapper called Black Bear, who Bella has been recently tied to, took to Twitter to diss the Tana/Bella link. Blackbear tweeted a news story about Bella and Tana and highlighted the "mark as irrelevant" option, pointedly calling them both irrelevant. Bella’s response:

 

 

So yeah. I guess if making out with a girl you previously competed with for a guy, posting pictures of it, and then arranging a threesome with rapper who publicly insults you both is sexually empowering for Bella Thorne, good for Bella Thorne. I would never slut-shame. But I hope she’s doing this for her and not the male gaze.

 

Kristen Stewart And Emma Roberts Got Drunk Without Me

 

I mean, it’s fine. It’s absolutely fine. I don’t care. I didn’t want to go. Work has been like crazy and my kitten has progressed to jumping so, yeah, I have a lot going on. I could not possibly have made it to the Harry Styles concert, or drinks afterward. Emma Roberts and I got nontoxic (bullshit, btw) manicures next to each other once, and our colors were super similar, so I feel like she saw potential in the friendship but didn’t know how to approach me because I’m so cool and aloof. I hear. From many people. They tell me that, I’m serious. And Kristen Stewart... I mean, I regularly feature her in my gossip column, and you know with media it’s like the line between friend and subject is very blurry, which may or may not be why I was interested in celebrity journalism. So yeah, like we’re not butt buddies, but we run in the same circles.

 

And it’s fine but it’s a little rude not to invite me. I’m not petty but if I was, I’d find an unflattering story to run about them. For hurting my feelings and not inviting me to the party, just like that bitch Claire in 4th grade. But I’m better than that.

 

Kristen Stewart And Stella Maxwell On The Rocks, Or Just Busy?

 

Bonne soirée 🌹 Paris

A post shared by Stella! (@stellamaxwell) on

 

Suspiciously, Stella Maxwell was not present while Kristen Stewart and Emma Roberts got tipsy in an outdoor patio that had more than enough room for one more. Where was she? Maybe she was walking in New York Fashion Week for Phillip Plein, Jeremy Scott and Rihanna's Fenty line. OK, Stella was definitely walking in fashion week because she was photographed abundantly. But was she happy to know her girlfriend was tarting about town with Julia Roberts’s niece? I don’t know. Kristen Stewart was later spotted in New York, maybe just visiting Stella, maybe breaking up with her. There’s no way to know.

 

Kate McKinnon Scores Vanity Fair Cover

 

Kate McKinnon is on the cover of Vanity Fair this month, beautifully photographed by Annie Leibovitz. The notoriously private actress and comedian refused to discuss her personal life, instead focusing on her craft or whatever. The profile is thorough but the quotes are sparse, and if you don’t already know Kate McKinnon’s professional trajectory, I’m sure you’ll be very interested. Basically, she’s pretty but not arrogant (something that all celebrity profiles MUST say by law), she struggled until finding success (ditto), and she admires Hillary Clinton.

 

Cara Delevingne Opens Up About Her Depression

 

In a recent interview with luxury shopping site Net-A-Porter’s imaginary magazine The Edit, Cara Delevingne discussed her teenage struggles with depression. It’s relatable. "I felt alienated and alone, because I was like, what's wrong with me? I always wanted people to love me, so I never got angry with them; I turned my anger onto myself."

 

Same, girl.

 

Cara continued, ”I hated myself for being depressed, I hated feeling depressed, I hated feeling," she said. "I was very good at disassociating from emotion completely. And all the time I was second-guessing myself, saying something and then hating myself for saying it. I didn't understand what was happening apart from the fact that I didn't want to be alive anymore." Cara found freedom from depression through independence. "I know it sounds really stupid, but I relied too much on love, too much on other people to make me happy, and I needed to learn to be happy by myself," she said. "So now I can be by myself, I can be happy. It took me a long time.”

 

Real talk: No one can make you happy. You have to make yourself happy. This is a fundamental truth I wholeheartedly agree with.

 

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