Amandla Stenberg Realizes She's Gay, Not Bisexual, Bella Thorne Is A Rapper Now
Plus Hannah Gadsby is Netflix's latest breakout comedian and super gay.
Bella Thorne Is A Rapper Now
Bella Thorne, Disney child star turned sexy tabloid fodder, just dropped her debut rap album entitled ‘GOAT.” Apparently, GOAT stands for “Greatest of All Time,” an appropriately swaggy abbreviation for the shamelessly messy bisexual starlet. The music videos for the first two singles- “Bitch I’m Bella Thorne” and “GOAT” view like an acid-fueled fever dream, a surreal, a-tonal mixture of glitter and dogs and meta faux-relatability. Can the girl rap? Not well. But she does have a distinct aesthetic. And in a time when views=success, that’s almost as important. Watching Bella Thorne do anything is like hanging out with the hottest hot mess you’ve ever met- your judgement is suspended with the sheer thrill of experiencing someone so beautiful and free do whatever the fuck she wants.
Amandla Stenberg Realizes She’s Gay, Not Bisexual
Two years ago, Amandla Stenberg (The Hunger Games, Everything, Everything) came out as bisexual. In a new interview with Wonderland, Stenberg came out as gay, not bi, and explained her journey from one identity to another in a way that will feel familiar to many gay women. Stenberg said:
“I had a few big Gay Sob moments when I realized I was gay. One might assume that they were mournful sobs, but actually quite the opposite in my lived experience. They were joyful and overwhelmed sobs – socialization is a bitch and a half and kept me from understanding and living my truth for a while. I was so overcome with this profound sense of relief when I realized that I’m gay—not bi, not pan, but gay—with a romantic love for women. All of the things that felt so internally contrary to my truest self were rectified as I unraveled a long web of denial and self-deprivation. Like oh, maybe there’s a reason why I kissed my best friends and felt ashamed growing up. Or watched lesbian porn and masturbated (and more) with my friends at sleepovers. Or stifled a scream of horror the first time I saw a penis and had to convince myself with much internal strife that I was enjoying what was going down. Or could only find attraction towards gay men and femme boys who damn near had the sensibility of a woman. Or developed earth-shattering, all-consuming crushes on… GIRLS! I was flooded with a sense of calm and peace because everything that I struggled with or felt discomfort around finally made sense to me, and once those floodgates opened and years of pent up pain and shame were released, I found the freedom to live my best life waiting for me just underneath.”
It’s wonderful to see a gay woman in the public eye express her lesbian identity without belittling or dismissing her former bisexual identity. For some women, “bisexual” is a less threatening label to take before fully accepting their lesbian identity. For other women, “bisexual” is their unchanging identity. Neither experience diminishes the other.
Paris Jackson is Now Dating Three Women
Paris Jackson is like that baby queer we all know (or used to be) who just discovered sex with girls and is now girl crazy. She is vag vag vag 24/7 and doesn’t care who knows about it. In fact, she wants everyone to know about it, BECAUSE GIRLS. It’s cute, really. According to Radar, Paris is dating Cara Delevingne, Ashley Benson, and now 34 year old DJ Caroline D’Amone. The two took it public earlier this month, when they attended a party hand and hand. Apparently this isn’t a new fling so much as a rekindled old fling. Paris and Caroline made out on the red carpet of last year’s MTV Music Video Awards.
According to Radar’s oh-so-concerned “insider,” “Paris is playing the field and doesn’t seem to care about the consequences. As far as she’s concerned there’s nothing wrong with having fun- but to essentially have three partners at the same time seems pretty reckless.” The pearl-clutching! A young, wealthy, beautiful girl playing the field! MADNESS! “The fear is that someone’s going to get hurt,” the source continued, “Things could get quite nasty if Paris doesn’t choose one of these girls to date exclusively. Ashley and Caroline are very smitten with Paris. There’s a growing concern one or both of them could wind up heartbroken.” According to the article, Paris and Cara announced last month that they had decided to be “just friends” so Paris is really only dating two women, one of whom is basically straight (Ashley) so I am having a hard time understanding the “concern.” But it’s heartwarming to see a bisexual celebuspawn’s female romances be treated with the same weight as her male relationships by the tabloids. How far we’ve come! EQUAL STUPIDITY FOR ALL!!!
Lesbian Comedian Hannah Gadsby’s Stand Up Special Hits Netflix
Brace yourself for the next big lesbian comedian. Tasmanian comic Hannah Gadsby, an out and exceptionally obvious looking lesbian (GOD BLESS EM), is Netflix’s latest breakout comedian. Her new comedy special, Nanette, hit the streaming giant this week and is already attracting euphoric write-ups from media titans like the New York Times hailing Gadsby as a “major new voice in comedy.” Nanette is a gut-wrenchingly funny hour of stand up comedy rife with deadpan jokes tackling #MeToo, lesbophobia, and how the gay pride flag is “a bit busy.” It’s exhilarating to see a new butch lesbian make literally everyone laugh on the biggest platform of 2018. Watch Nanette now on Netflix so you can quote it before all your friends start quoting it to you.