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To Hell And Back

How Nicole Sacks went from addiction to a life dedicated to helping others.


Image Credit: Michael Hallenbeck


My rock bottom was waking up with my head on my steering wheel. It was blurry, but I could see the air bag had opened. A deep and stern voice behind a bright flashlight was asking, ‘are you ok,’ ‘are you hurt,’ and ‘can you move?’ I was planning to take a road trip with a friend the following week. Plans changed.


My charge that night was a felony DWI. I didn’t hear the messages in the arrests over the previous years. I didn’t get it. My switch hadn’t been turned on.


I was given a second chance April 28, 2014, when I was admitted into a 28-day program. This day, my face was void of color and I weighed 114lbs. It wasn’t an eating disorder as many assumed. Rather, for the few months prior, my body was functioning on chemicals and alcohol. I forced myself to eat because I knew I had to. Otherwise, food had taken a backseat.


Alcohol came crashing into my life when I was 16. It was the first time I felt it on my lips, tasted it on my tongue, and felt its’ warmth pass into my stomach. I got alcohol poisoning that night. I drank so much I ended up seizing on a basement floor with my head in my friends’ hands…she said my eyelids were purple. Another friend was taping pieces of that night with a hand held recorder. I’m hoping that tape has been thrown out or destroyed. The fear of it being buried in a box in someone’s home passes through my brain on a regular basis. The guy recording was wild like me. Sensitive too. He died recently after being involved with drugs for many years. We were the same age and met for the first time in pre-school.


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