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Ask The Expert: When Is It Time To Break Ties And Move On?

Passionless relationships are not worth staying in, no matter how comfortable.


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Dear Carol,

I am in a relationship that I know is over and yet I am so comfortable where I am at it is easier to just stay status quo then to walk away. We are friends and know what each other is thinking and the living situation really works. The passion is gone and it is like living with a good friend. I know it would be better for both of us to walk away as we both deserve more. How do I walk away and move on? How am I sure I will find someone better?

Sincerely,

Stagnant

 

Dear Stagnant,

Relationships are not worth staying in just because they're comfortable like an old pair of jeans. Often when you are in a relationship for a long time people do take each other for granted. That should be a conversation and an effort on both parts to re-ignite the spark. Showing love and giving love should be natural and easy in a relationship. When this becomes an effort it is time to break the ties and move on. It is okay to admit the feelings are not there any longer and if you don’t feel lucky or happy to be with each other it is not worth settling. Get out while you still can and while you both can still wish each other well and value what you once had. Staying in a relationship that is no longer working for either of you is going to end with one of you getting terribly hurt. Before you cheat on her or look for passion elsewhere move on and wish each other well.  End the relationship with your respect and dignity in place. There is another chapter to this book and it is time to write it.

Best,

Carol


Carol Sugar-Burke is an Executive Matchmaker for NY’s premier gay and lesbian matchmaking service Bespoke Matchmaking.

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