Ask The Expert: Are You Sabotaging Your Relationship?
Being afraid of intimacy is a common relationship problem.
I have been dating a beautiful woman that I really enjoy spending time with. We are at about the 3 month stage of our relationship and as we are beginning to become intimate I am ready to run in the opposite direction. I think I am falling in love with this woman but the thought of that makes me try to sabotage what we have started to build. How can I stop doing this and let myself love and be loved?
Being afraid of intimacy is a common relationship problem. Letting yourself be completely naked and vulnerable to someone can be a very scary proposition for some people. If you do want to let your guard down and be true to yourself then do this gradually and overtime. Recognizing you want to be loved and give love back is the first step in truly becoming intimate. Sharing your true self with someone and showing who you really are and opening up fully to someone takes time. Over time you will communicate your thoughts and innermost feelings. Take it slow and remember you are not running a race and if you trust the person you are with let her in and share a little at a time. As time goes on you will feel more comfortable and the rewards that will come from this will outweigh your fears. Letting yourself love and be loved and allowing yourself to share your innermost thoughts and feelings with someone being authentic and genuine will allow you to experience the value of a full relationship. I am confident you will truly be able to do this and once you let your true self shine through you will be happier in your day to day life as well.
Carol Sugar-Burke is an Executive Matchmaker for NY’s premier gay and lesbian matchmaking service Bespoke Matchmaking.