8 Ways To Be A Good Bisexual Ally
Because there is a “B” in LGBT…
Credit: Charles Deluvio
During pride, Mardi Gras, and in general.
1. Don’t assume “straight” couples are straight.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with straight people coming to Pride, of course there isn’t. But please don’t make assumptions. Some of us holding hands with our boyfriends are just as much a part of the LGBT community as you are… And if we’re kissing that boyfriend? Well, you’re kissing your girlfriend, so why not?
2. For God’s sake don’t shout out abuse.
It might seem amusing to yell things like “Breeders!” at us when we march by, but we don’t find it funny. Not even remotely. Being bisexual is hard: we don’t fit into the gay world, we don’t fit into the straight world and some people don’t even believe we exist. But we. We’re here, we’re queer and we’d love to share a beer with you.
3. Come and march with us!
Sure, some people might think you’re also bisexual, but where’s the shame in that? We know what it’s like when people assume we’re gay or assume we’re straight, but we can sure as hell be gay allies, so you can be a bi one too, and show it proudly and openly under our bi banners and flags.
4. Talk to us.
It’s OK to be curious about bisexuality and how it works. There are a lot of preconceptions about us out there and we’re keen to dispel them. Binaries are easier to “get” and we know that. But male/female, gay/straight isn’t all there is… Bi people can be married and monogamous with a woman, poly with a preference for men, never have experienced same-sex sex, and many other permutations beyond the classic stereotype of someone who has a boyfriend and a girlfriend at the same time.
5. Don’t call it “Gay Pride”It’s
LGBT Pride (or even better, LGBTQ+ Pride). Say it. I know it’s simpler to shorthand things but in doing so you’re harming a large section of the LGBT community. Not just bisexuals, of course, but also trans and non-binary people.
6. Look up Brenda Howard.
Also known as the “Mother of Pride”, Brenda organized the Christopher Street Liberation Day March, on the back of the infamous Stonewall riots. Brenda was bisexual. .Unfortunately she’s often depicted as being a lesbian in documentaries, which is just another piece of proof that bisexuals are often written out of LGBT history.
7. Learn to recognise our flag.
It’s pink, purple and blue, to represent our attraction to more than one gender. We still use the rainbow flag, of course, but in 1998 Michael Page decided we needed to create more bisexual visibility within both the straight and ..LGBT communities, and so the bi flag was born.
8. Call out anyone who’s being biphobic.
If you hear anything derogatory being said about bisexual participation in Pride, you don’t have to be bisexual yourself to call it out, any more than you have to be minority ethnic to call out racism. Go for it. Help us out...